Training wheels

When I was seven, my parents bought me a beautiful bike.
I've suffered years of humiliation and you have no idea what it's like.
After I got the bicycle, I started going through my horrible ordeal.
I've never been able to ride a bicycle without training wheels.
Two months after my parents bought me the bike, Dad removed the training wheels.
After crashing several times, I got lots of stitches and a huge hospital bill.
When I was twelve, Dad removed the training wheels again and I landed on my tush.
He picked me off the ground and said "Son, you're a wuss."
Riding bicycles with training wheels was something nobody ever understood.
At sixteen I suffered humiliation when I delivered newspapers through my neighborhood.
As I delivered the papers, people would point at my training wheels and laugh.
The kids at school made fun of me and so did the staff.
I tried to drive a car but I couldn't do that either.
I ran over Dad's new motorcycle and he chased me with a meat cleaver.
Now I'm in my thirties and I still can't ride without training wheels.
People look at me like I'm a freak because riding a bike doesn't take much skill.
Yesterday I tried to ride without training wheels again and I wrecked and injured my knee.
I'm determined to ride without training wheels so people will stop laughing at me.