Screaming because of the nightmares

I never meant for my family to come to any harm.
I was supposed to buy new batteries for the smoke alarm.
Instead of buying batteries, I used my last few bucks to play the lottery.
My entire family was killed in a fire and it was because of me.
I was staying with my sick mother on the night of the fire.
I didn't know I was about to face a situation that was so dire.
I should've done what was right but I was greedy instead.
Because of my ignorance, my entire family is dead.
After I bought the lottery tickets, I actually won.
But I can't bear to keep the money after what I've done.
Even with new batteries, there was no guarantee that they would've survived.
But deep within my heart I feel it was because of me they died.
Everybody knows that life isn't always fair.
Every night I wake myself up screaming because of the nightmares.