by randy-johnson on Sat Sep 17, 2005 12:54 pm

After chewing tobacco for two years, I've had nothing but grief.
The Beechnut and Redman rotted out all of my teeth.
When I first meet women, all seems to go well.
But they see I have no teeth and tell me to go to hell.
I got angry at the tobacco company and decided to sue.
But the judge pointed at me and said "I blame you!"
This ticked me off so I punched the judge in the gut.
He was stronger and he kicked my butt.
Now I'm confined to a hospital bed.
It's my fault that I have no teeth in my head.