Counseling

I grimace in disgust from the face my eyes lie upon
You seem so sickening to my body
So sickening to my mind
Thoughts of killing you run through my head
Just wanting to see that image of you falling down in excruciating pain
My daydreaming shakes my body
Trying to hold back from doing your impossible
It's like the thought of cutting myself seems to feel so good right now
Wanting to feel that cold blade rub across my skin
Wanting to watch my blood stream out of my wound
It feels so good to me right now,
But my promise I keep
Because I saw the pain in people's eyes
And heard fright in their voices from me even starting that habit
Three times it all it takes to get my help
To throw my body to the counselor seeking help
Seeking answers for my depression
But those eyes and that tone of voice made me realize ...
It's not worth it.