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December sun

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Ben Grader

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Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2004 11:24 am
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Cold December sun
golden light on bare branches
does not warm my soul.
Born and bred a country yokel
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Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2005 11:42 pm Report this post to a moderator
proadventures
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Nor mine Ben. I little sip out of the old fruit jar could change my perspective though.
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Posted: Thu Sep 28, 2006 10:50 am Report this post to a moderator
newpass
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I like the direct juxtaposition between "Cold" and "Golden" - they share a sound but diverge in meaning. The image is also well portrayed, and you earn your right to use a somewhat cliched "warming of the soul" line by adding the preceding sensory details.

Nice little haiku.
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Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 10:54 am Report this post to a moderator
Ben Grader

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Thanks for the comments.
Tofu I suppose I could have put does not warm my heart but that would have been much the same. I had to keep the syllables down.
Born and bred a country yokel
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Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 7:28 pm Report this post to a moderator
Bluesy Socrateaser

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Just fine Benny boy.
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Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 9:56 am Report this post to a moderator
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