There's You - PoetsQuill Message Board

Phil

On top of the world

Total Posts: 87
Joined: Sun Jan 25, 2004 5:00 pm

This poem is something I wrote for my now ex-girlfriend for the first Valentine's day we were together...it's depressing to me now, but someone else might like it.
It's called "There's You"
-------
There's you
Now I am so happy
So happy that
There's you.

I used to be down
But now I'm doing great
Because now, now
There's you.

Us, together
What else do I need?
Everything is good
There's you.

Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2004 5:47 pm

Report this post to a moderator

Paolo
I love YaBB 1G - SP1 more!

Total Posts: 6
Joined: Sun Feb 08, 2004 12:52 pm

Yeah, it sucks when you write a poem when you care for someone and look back on it a few months/years later and it just depresses you like that :(

Nice read :>

Posted: Fri Feb 13, 2004 6:52 pm

Report this post to a moderator

Jon Snow

New Member

Total Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Oct 27, 2004 4:25 am

agreed - you could almost make a folksy guitar song out of it. hmm.

Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2004 4:46 am

Report this post to a moderator

Ben Grader

Junior Member

Total Posts: 60
Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2004 11:24 am

At first glance this is too simple; look deeper into it and you come onto a range of strong emotions.
I liked this for those 2 reasons, no superfluous words, straight to the point and an expression of happiness.
You say 'It's depressing to me now' but why. the emtion might have gone form within you, but you are still left with a work which can stand by itself.

Born and bred a country yokel

Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2004 5:31 pm

Report this post to a moderator

Phil

On top of the world

Total Posts: 87
Joined: Sun Jan 25, 2004 5:00 pm

The reason it was depressing was that I still felt 'connected' to the time when it was written. The story behind the poem is that I wrote it to my first (now ex-)girlfriend a few days after we started going out. I would look at the poem and be reminded of everything surrounding writing it (my mind tends to associate things like that).

Trying to look at it more objectively (which is hard for a couple of reasons) I think it came out nicely and is one of my better poems.

Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 12:46 pm

Report this post to a moderator

MegLiz82

New Member

Total Posts: 6
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 2004 11:16 am

I agree with Jon Snow on the idea that this poem could make a song. I also agree with Ben Grader that you should be proud of the piece you created even if the memories are sad. From my own experience, I agree with you Phil that the pieces I feel are some of my best come out of sad or bittersweet memories. One of my friends once said that the people that come into and go out of our lives all influence us and help us become the person we are supposed to be when we meet the person that we're meant to spend the rest of our life with.

May sound cheesy, and I'll admit I'm a hopeless romantic, but I agree with my friend, so maybe there's a reason for why whatever happened, happened.

Great poem though! Well written, simple but very sweet. And thanks for sharing the story behind the poem, because I often wonder what the author's story or meaning is behind a piece and you were willing enough to share.

Megan

Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2005 11:12 pm

Report this post to a moderator

Bluesy Socrateaser

Veteran Member

Total Posts: 225
Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 6:14 am

When the rush comes, you write.
Of course it's simple. How hard is it to fall in love?
Excites every part of you to the quick!
You want to shout it out from the top of the mountain!
But...
How hard is it to lose it all?
You want to die.
Inside and out.

And then time kicks in with it's usual form of interference.
At first you resent it.
Then you embrace it.
And now look at it, more than five years have passed since you posted this.
How many smiles on your mug since then Phil?

Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 10:12 am

Report this post to a moderator

	PoetsQuill Message Board » Go to PoetsQuill
	Register Log in Lost password Help Search Team Memberlist