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Posted by Poetichick on Tue Feb 10, 2004 9:03 am
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You look at me as if I'm crazy, as if nothing has gone wrong, but in the whole time you're telling me this, your look is far from gone. When I was younger all you told me was "That it's alright to cry" but now that I'm older and a child no more you yell if I dare start to cry.<br> All through my years in high school, I've been told those years should be my best, but day in and day out at least one tear is what I let show out.<br> You've always told me that I'm suppost to be "Daddy's little girl," but as through time I must grow up, even if I have to cry. <p> Daddy, we haven't always been that close, but it is true I've always cared, you don't know how you've hurt me, never being there. Now that your home, I love you still, but sicker you still grow, it hurts me ever more to think that you still won't be around. Even though that you are sick; still further apart we grow.<br> I love you Daddy, and I am afraid that I don't say it enough. Daddy please know that even though I'm afraid, I simply won't give up. Some how you've taught me that through the tears, I wasn't really afraid, but letting go of everything, and gaining strength through the pain.
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Posted by Paolo on Sun Feb 15, 2004 5:37 am
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I can SO relate to this poem, considering my dad is having some health problems as well, I completely know where you're coming from
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Posted by thewerewolfslady on Sun Feb 15, 2004 7:23 am
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Really beautiful... I can relate, as well.<p>I love your writing style!
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Posted by Ben Grader on Tue Jan 18, 2005 12:01 pm
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I like the emotion shown here but I find that some of your phrases are a bit confusing.
<br>'I love you still, but sicker you still grow.'
<br>This in particular upset my flow of reading. Yes - maybe that is a good thing on reflection because it made me re-read and understand.
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Posted by Bluesy Socrateaser on Tue Mar 10, 2009 11:35 am
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I got the impression right from the start that you never really experienced this situation. It was far too strained and redundant. Even those with little writing ability reach into their heart when called to express their grief, sadness, and despondency. In doing so, one is so touched having read or been told of such sorrow, that they are moved to tears.
<br />The reach extended here was no further then the keyboard in my opinion, and thus was it so poorly presented.
<br />Having said that, I would advise more research into such trauma in order to get a better feel for the kind of emotion attached to the loss of a loved one, compassion for one who may have wronged you, and most importantly of all, forgiveness.
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<br />...<img src="http://www.poetsquill.com/images/forums/emoticons/cool.gif" alt='8)' />
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